Tailing the Donkey!

 

A very popular game at birthday parties in the ’70 was a caricature of a donkey stuck up on a cardboard surface and a blindfolded child using a ribbon with a draw pin at one end, attempting to stick it on to the most appropriate spot on the donkey’s rump. The winner was the one most accurate and the fun of the game was the sighted team members who would shout ‘hot’ to indicate close proximity to the target area and ‘cold’ to show distance.

 

My question to you is, "Are You that Donkey" hung up there to be tailed?

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These questions and your honest answer will tell you whether you were transformed to that donkey:-

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1. Have you entertained an investment banker/advisor to your time, in your home or office?

• Can you think of ever having a doctor/lawyer/ or CA come in at your convenience? If your answer is in the affirmative to the first. You, my friend, are a potential donkey.

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2. Were you charged a fee for that visit?

• Hell No. They were only advising, with their expertise, how to multiply your money. You could pay an arm and a leg to have a doctor/lawyer visit you at home. Friends, you weren’t charged a fee, you were fed a bait.

 

3. Were you told by the investment banker/advisor that the term “fixed deposit” is a no-brainer it, does not match inflation due to a low interest earned and exposes you to a higher tax liability?

• You fell for it, who wants to look stupid and have a non-performer in your portfolio.

 

4. Were you introduced to an insurance scheme that told you that your loved ones would never miss their financial support in case of your untimely demise with an insurance scheme linked to the market?

• Truly, who really wants to have loved ones get a lottery tagging the winning to your own demise.

 

5. Were you introduced to the concept of a mutual fund that seemed the solution for all? An investment that grew, had no tax liability up until recently and now only a small tax, a variety of names, etc. You were given a seven-minute concise and express education of these financial options

• Did you believe that any education can be so instant? Anyway, there is a donkey required for that game.

 

6. Were you told that experts would take care of your financial assets that would strike a balance between the risky option of shares and the dated fixed deposit? Pie diagrams and charts are shown to you as to what your holdings are and what they are supposed to be.

• You’ve already grown donkey ears. This is no social service that has your back, to leave you doing your work.

 

7. Did you decide to be smart and invest in mutual funds, decided by the banking advisor?

• You were asked to sign documents in fine print in 3 to 4 places. You gave up reading after the first paragraph. Too taxing, middle of the workday and how can you make the person wait forever. To be efficient you sign the documents and handed them over. 

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Do you have a copy of that document? I bet you, you don’t.

 

Can you think of an agreement you made that was so unilaterally protective?

If it were a sale of an apartment or a rental, these documents are held by both sides and you have spent a great deal of time reading the document, asking for some deletion, or adding some clause to ensure your money/asset is safe.

 

At this point from being an erect two-legged specimen, you’ve become a four-legged donkey. You have just signed away your money, to market risks, to be gambled away.

You are in the same category if you are affirming transactions over emails. You have no safeguards on your side.

 

8. Did you ask what these well-meaning services cost?

• There are no free lunches, some of these commissions would make your eyes wide and jaw drop. SEBI imposed a sealing in October 2018, so post that regulation, switching, and churning of the portfolio is not fashionable.

 

9. Did you ask for a regular update on your assets and any clause in your document that would safeguard your capital? Any clause to switch asset classes in case of market volatility if you have not done so.

• You sound more donkey-like and even started braying.

 

10. Do you hear from your investment advisor more often when your account has funds and almost never during periods when information from them is vital to make important decisions?

• If Yes, you are a confirmed caricature of that donkey to be tailed. Actually much worse, donkeys are intelligent and self-preserving animals.

 

Just for simplification, you’re the donkey and have been tailed by your smart investment bankers/advisor. You have been promised to eat the food (your money) to gain your financial weight (a return on your investment), but what has happened is that they helped themselves earlier to your ingestion. The food was replaced by junk food (useless investment) you were made to feel happy and full, but not long after, you realized that they had only turned the food (investment) you’ve handed over into POOP!

 

You may want to think of them as the orifice below the tail but all you will get is flatus for that. Even a donkey can learn. Do not fall prey ever again. Stop braying, use that hoof to do what a donkey does best

                                                                   Kick and Run!

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- Susan Sodder & Maya Sodder